What to do when you can’t pay the bills.

Apple was up to their old tricks again yesterday.  I have a bad battery on my Macbook (determined after 2 calls and 45 mins on the phone with tech support).  They offered to ship me a new battery as long as I give them a credit card number so that they could charge me if the old battery was not shipped back within 10 days.  Again, I refused and requested another arrangement.  Tech Support guy tells me that without a credit card authorization Apple will be unable to service my machine.

I told them that it was ridiculous for me to have to sue them on their own warranty over a stupid battery.  Tech support guy then changes his tune and offers me “an exception this time.”  It is not an exception.  The Apple Care Warranty states that if “[I] am unable to provide credit card authorization, then “Do-It-Yourself service may not be available to [me] and Apple will offer alternative arrangements for service.”  I guess “alternative” means “NO” at Apple.

You might ask why I am being so difficult about providing credit card information.  You might ask why I don’t just trust Apple’s stellar customer service.  I’ll tell you why: my battery arrived today with no return shipping labels.  When I called to find out how I am supposed to send the old battery back to them (20 more minutes on the phone), the first tech guy couldn’t even find how they shipped me the battery.  The second tech girl said she had no idea what was going on, and she would have to call me back about that.  I hope she gets back to me within the next 10 days.  However, if she doesn’t, then the joke’s on them.

I assure you that the Turkeydog would be a goner if this had happened to me.

Honestly, I don’t think anyone will be surprised.

UPDATED: 8/12/08 below

Our office is almost entirely Apple. We made the switch shortly after opening our doors, and, overall, I have been very happy with our machines. The only problem I’ve really had (that is not user created) is that the roller ball on my wireless mouse has been extremely temperamental. I called Apple shortly after buying my computer to see what the problem was, and they advised me on how to properly clean the mouse. I cleaned the mouse every time it failed (usually about once every three days) until this week when it finally failed completely. No problem, I thought, since I had purchased a three year Apple Care Warranty on each of my computers.

Today I called Apple to get my mouse replaced. This was the response: “No problem at all, sir, we will ship you a new mouse and a label to return the broken mouse to Apple. All we need is a credit card number.” Of course I asked why they would need a credit card number. The response: “Because you have 10 business days to ship back the broken mouse, or we will charge you $69.99 for the new one.” Hold up, WHAT!!?? Where is that in the Apple Care Warranty Agreement? Answer: Not to be found.

Alternatively, they will allow me to drive 6 hours round trip to Richmond in order to trade in the defective mouse at the Apple store. No thanks.

By the way, not only do they ask for credit card information, which is not required under the terms of the warranty agreement, but there is a provision in the warranty agreement that says that you agree that ANY information you provide them is not confidential and can be provided to “affiliated companies or service providers located in countries where data protection laws may be less comprehensive than your company of residence . . . .”

So, long story short, I asked for a full refund of the purchase price of my machines. After 45 minutes and a transfer to a supervisor, they found a local store that would exchange the mouse for me without requiring credit card information.

I can confidently say that I am not impressed with Apple’s reportedly stellar customer service. I do not trust any company that asks for credit card information on a warranty claim, and refuses to honor the terms of the warranty unless the customer complies with terms not included in the warranty agreement. Not cool, Apple, not cool at all.

UPDATE: 8/12/08

I called the local store to see when my new mouse would arrive. They told me that it was already in, and they had emailed me at the address Apple gave them, joshpdlaw@pd.us, which is completely wrong. Apple had provided no other way to contact me.

I drove all the way over to the store only to find that Apple had shipped a refurbished wired mouse to exchange for my defective wireless mouse. This after a 45 minute phone conversation where I refused an opportunity to be charged $69.99 for the wireless mouse. What a complete waste of time. They are shipping it back, and I will have to wait until the wireless one comes in. Good job, Apple Customer Service.

If Apple ever plans to become a player in the business market, they are going to have to do much better.

The term “windfalls profits” that has increasingly been thrown around the political arena lately really gets under my skin.  I intended to write up my thoughts on the issue, but I found a great article that pretty much covers it here.  Comments?  Arguments?